Gaz The Jungle Girl's Bad Day
by Zim'sMostLoyalServant
Summary: Jungle AU. Gaz is the most feared girl in the village. But that's not going to save from one hell of a bad day. Oneshot, gift for The Cowardly Christian. Bonus chapter up!
1. Gaz The Jungle Girl's Bad Day

**A/N: What's this? Another Anti-Gaz story so soon? Well, there's a bit of a tale behind this one, involving the somewhat underrated writer The Cowardly Christian. He has quite a few stories out there on the site, though most of them are left at the concept stage, to inspire other writers. But, at the same time, there's his "Shake Up The Falls" challenge, where in exchange for another writer writing a Gravity Falls story based on the guidelines on CC's profile, he'll update three stories of the other writer's choosing.**

 **Now, I'm not much of a Gravity Falls fan, or at least not enough to write any of those stories myself. But, I saw that CC was a fan of my own work, especially Anti-Gaz stories, so I proposed an alternative deal — I write a new one, and he accept that as a substitute for an entry in the challenge. Lo and behold, I published Karma Circle: Judgement, and got my three updates. And then, before I could even suggest keeping the deal going forward, CC did it himself, offering up a plot outline that I could use in exchange for three more updates, and it was simply too good of one to pass up.**

 **Now, just to warn you all in advance, this story's going to be slightly wackier and more mature than my usual stuff (hence the M-rating). I suppose I could have tuned it down, but I wanted to keep it loyal to both CC's original outline, and his writing style in general. So, please no complaints. I'm doing an homage, here.**

 **Well, I think that just about covers everything. Please, read and enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim or any related characters. They are the intellectual property of Jhonen Vasquez, and the legal property of Nickelodeon and Oni Press.**

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 **Gaz The Jungle Girl's Bad Day**

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We all know the world of Invader Zim. A near-future, somewhat crapsack society of very stupid people, totally oblivious to anything unusual or out of the normal, even when it's staring them right in the face. In this world, Zim is an alien, out to conquer the Earth for the uncaring leaders of his intergalactic empire, with his only opposition coming from Dib, a young schoolboy and paranormal investigator, who keeps up the good fight despite ridicule from all corners. We all know the story of this world.

But this isn't that world.

No, this is another world, one a few twists and turns of the multiverse away from the main Invader Zim universe. This world was much more primal than IZ-Prime, in a quite literal sense — most of the planet was jungle, practically from pole to pole. And for anyone who would question the validity of a single biome planet, please direct your attention to 99 percent of the planets in _Star Wars_. Same principle here, so move along.

Anyway, not only was this world covered in jungle, but human society had grown to reflect that. This was not an industrialized world of science and advanced machinery. Communities were small tribal villages, the wheel and sail were the height of technology, and clothing was a rather stereotypically simple affair. That is to say, everyone wore simple fur and leather — loincloths for the men, leopard skin bikinis for the women. How there were enough leopards to go around for everyone, no one really knew or cared.

The focus of our story, the tale that brings us to this alternate world, begins in one of the larger above-mentioned villages. Size aside, it was typical of the average human settlement in this reality. It was built within a clearing in the jungle, not far from a water supply. The exact center of the clearing was a market and meeting place. Outwards from that were the gardens, domesticated animal enclosures, and small hut homes of the average villager. Beyond that, at the outer rim of the village, were the homes of the tribe's leaders and most influential members, built atop the trees lining the boundaries between the village itself and the surrounding rainforest.

It was one of these treehouses that serves as the origin point of this story. Sitting more than thirty feet in the air, built amongst the twisted and interlocked branches of two trees that had grown around each other, it was the largest and most grandiose of all the homes in the village. It was actually several levels tall, and each level, along with the base of the conjoined trees, were lined with a series of perpetually-lit torches, giving the whole structure a slightly off-putting feeling.

This was all fitting, of course, as this was the home of Membrane, the village's witchdoctor. A strange man who always kept his face hidden by a wooden mask, he was never the less venerated by the rest of the village for his wisdom and ability to craft potions to help heal the sick and infirm. Though that being said, he was different from other witch doctors in that he absolutely refused to partake in any rituals aimed at fighting off spirits or other such "superstitious nonsense".

Yes, even in a world where science was practically nonexistent, Membrane preferred it over belief in the paranormal. Go figure.

Another multiversal constant was that Membrane lived with his two children. One of them was currently in his room, looking over a variety of hunting tools, preparing to set out on a mission. Like his counterparts in most universes, this version of Dib was an object of ridicule in his community, for mostly the same reasons — an oversized head, and belief in the paranormal. More specifically, paranormal beliefs that were even more outlandish and hard to swallow than the typical tribal superstitions. Like, for example, his insistent claims that the strange green boy living in a cave just outside the village was an evil Anhanguera bent on destroying the village, when he was _clearly_ just suffering from an ailment brought about by not making the proper ritual sacrifices underneath a harvest moon. Duh.

But Dib, just like most other versions of himself, was not deterred by the disdain he was held in. Hence his current preparations to go hunting.

"This is the day, I know it," he said to himself, inspecting a particularly large net before folding it up and sticking it in a leather sack, "I'll finally catch Zim and expose him for the monster he is, for everyone to see! And then, I'll finally-"

"Shut up already!" a familiar voice suddenly said from behind him, making him jump in surprise. Turning around, he saw his sister standing behind him. Like Dib, Gaz was virtually identical in both appearance and personality to other versions of herself in other realities. Which was to say that she was anger and violence incarnated as young girl. The only real difference at first glance was that, rather than a dress or shirt/skirt combo, she was wearing a leopard bikini just like every other girl in this universe, albeit one that had been dyed purple to match her hair.

"No one cares about your stupid obsession," she said, glaring at her brother, "Plus, Zim's too stupid to ever actually do any real damage. And even if he does, who cares? People are all moronic jerks — whatever happens to them is their own fault."

"You know, if you were a little less pessimistic, people might like you more," Dib said, in a rare moment of standing up for himself.

"Like I care if people like me," Gaz snorted, cracking open one eye to glare at him, "They fear me, which means they respect me. But if you want to keep being the village laughingstock, go ahead, fine by me. Just be _quiet_ about it. Or else."

With that final threat, Gaz turned around and walked out of the room, heading down the stairs towards the main level of the house, which served as a common room. Settling on one of the benches in the middle of the room, she turned her attention to the items on the table in front of her, and went back to what she had been doing before — tending to her own hunting tools.

You see, in a world like this, there was obviously no such thing as video games. As such, Gaz needed something else to do in order to vent her frustrations and boredom in a controlled way. In this case, it meant hunting. Not for food or even bragging rights, mind you, but for fun. She especially liked catching smaller prey, like monkeys, as she could then tie them up to dangle from trees, and use them as target practice. It was so much fun to watch them squirm as they tried to dodge projectiles and/or break free; just thinking about it now made her smirk.

Finishing tying together a snare line and testing the knot to make sure it was secure, Gaz set it aside and grabbed a wooden cup set to the side. Lifting it to her mouth, she took a sip of its contents, a mixture of several different kinds of berries. It was her favorite drink, and the one thing guaranteed to always calm and sedate her.

So it was quite unfortunate for Dib that he chose that moment to come running down the stairs. Because due to a combination of the weight of the equipment he was carrying and how fast he was moving, he stumbled and fell on the last step, causing the bag to go flying out of his grip. It shot through the air, smacking Gaz in the back of the head mid-sip. The force of the impact knocked her forward, slamming her into the table and shattering the cup.

There was a moment of tense silence, as Dib lay on his hands and knees on the floor, frozen in shock, eyes bugging out in fear at what he knew was about to come. And come it did, as Gaz slowly got up and turned around, revealing that the berry juice had been spilled all over her, running from her face all the way down to her stomach.

"Um, heh, sorry?" he offered weakly. In response, Gaz's eyes snapped open in one of the scariest death glares in the history of humanity (in any timeline).

"I'm going to tear your fucking head off!" she screeched, before throwing herself at him, and delivering an unholy beating.

It should be noted that this was a fairly regular occurrence. Even if the causes varied from situation to situation, the result was always the same — Gaz beating seven shades of hell out of her brother until she was satisfied, and then walking away to leave him writhing in pain. Just about everyone in the village could relate (having been in similar situations, if less frequently) but kept their heads down. There wasn't a person in the village willing to go out on a limb for Dib if it meant standing up to his sister and risking incurring her wrath.

Fortunately for him, this story's plot doesn't hinge on a "person" per se.

On another plane of existence, one that at the same time both was and wasn't part of the mortal reality, there lived a being. Mere human minds couldn't truly comprehend the nature of this divine entity; the best way to describe it would be to say that it was a giant spider, or a spider with the face of a man, or a man with spider legs, or all three at once. It rather depended on the angle of view.

This was Anansi, part-time spider deity and full-time trickster and storyteller. Right now, he was doing what he often did, viewing the world in search of stories that he could weave into tales and fables that could be retold by others and passed down through the ages. It just so happened that, in this case, his gaze had fallen on the Membrane home just in time to witness all the events described above.

To say that he was horrified and disgusted was a vast understatement. Anansi had lived for countless years and seen an equally immeasurable number of things, both good and evil. But this… what kind of person, a child no less, could have so much anger in them? Let alone be willing to inflict it so violently on a close family member, and for such petty reasons?

Morbid curiosity piqued, Anansi began manipulating his great web, pulling apart the fabric of reality around the Membrane siblings, so he could view their threads of fate. They had to be a higher reason for what he was seeing… ah, there it was. It seemed that somehow, things had gotten a little tangled, leaving Dib with a disproportionately high level of bad luck for one person, while Gaz inversely got just as high a level of good luck. Thus, this had created twin self-sustaining cycles of behavior — Dib was having bad things happen to him on such a regular basis that it had beat him down to a submissive who practically invited more bad stuff to happen to him, while Gaz had so much going for her without any sort of retribution for her bad actions that it just encouraged her to just keep acting horribly.

Clearly, this was a situation that needed rectifying. True, it didn't really fall under Anansi's purvey at first glance, but he just couldn't walk away from something like this.

"Besides," he mused, scratching at his chin/mandibles/abstract shape representing his face, "Knocking a vicious little bitch like this down to size? That would make one hell of a trick _and_ a decent story."

Mind made up, Anansi reached out with his hands/forelimbs/indescribable outer body parts, and began untangling the mess of twisted luck around Dib and Gaz. And not just restoring them to a normal disposition. No, that was too easy. It really seemed only fair to allow Dib the surplus of good luck his sister had enjoyed for so long, and thereby boost him up, while giving Gaz a taste of the absolute crap her brother had been living with. So, he was going to totally swap their threads around.

Back in the real world, Gaz had finished the main beating, and had moved onto adding some humiliation on top of it. She was now dangling him in the air by the back of his loincloth, which she had twisted around her hand, doubling the tightness and intensity of the subsequent wedgie. Dib squealed in pain as he kicked instinctively at the air, face turning purple in pain. None of which dissuaded Gaz one bit.

"Now then," she said firmly, "I think I've made my point, but let me reiterate — when you're carrying around your crap, you're going to watch where you're going. And if you _ever_ make me spill my drink again, I'll shove your head up your ass. Got it?"

She punctuated her point by giving the loincloth another twist, eliciting another high-pitched yelp from Dib.

"Y-yes," he managed to squeak out.

"Good. Now get out of my sight," Gaz said, tossing Dib aside and sending him flying across the room… and right out a window.

Which, it bears a reminder, was over thirty feet in the air.

"Shit!" Anansi exclaimed in rare profanity, as he watched Dib plummet. He worked his appendages, unraveling and retying the fate threads as fast as was possible even for a god. Finally, he was done, entwining Dib's life with an extraordinary amount of good luck, and not a moment too soon — just before Dib could hit the hard ground, he clipped a branch, causing him to bounce off to the side. This changed his trajectory enough that, rather than impacting the ground, he landed in a large bush, full of flowers but lacking thorns of any kind, that just so happened to growing right next to the base of the tree. Altogether, this broke his fall effectively enough that he'd be able to walk away effectively unharmed.

Seeing this, Anansi (unnecessarily) breathed a sigh of relief. That had been a close one. But he had pulled it off; Dib was safe, and his new luck was already kicking in. Now, all the Spider had to do was sit back and watch events unfold.

Meanwhile, Dib had stumbled out of the bush, disoriented by his fall. Shaking it off, he dusted himself off and looked down to check himself for damage… and immediately went red in the face. For he saw, to his horror, that at some point between being tossed out the window and hitting the ground, his loincloth had been ripped off, leaving him totally naked. Which would have been mortifying enough, if not for the fact that Dib, to put it bluntly, had a tiny dick. Even taking his young age into account, it was rather undersized, a fact he'd always tried to keep hidden, but was now fully on display.

Yelping in panic, Dib clasped his hands over his penis, embarrassment not at all aided by the fact that he really only needed one hand to cover it completely, and looked around desperately for some kind of cover. And froze, as he saw a large group the village's girls heading in his direction. Very pretty girls, girls who already mocked him for his beliefs and would make fresh mockery of his tiny junk, girls who would notice him any second because there was no time to hide…

It was at this point that Dib's new luck started to kick in. For while he was standing there, frozen in humiliated panic, a malaria mosquito happened to land on his head and bite him. In what way was this lucky, one might ask? Well, under normal circumstances, he would have gotten extremely sick and then died within a few days, unless he were to be treated by his father's medicine almost immediately after exposure. But with his current luck, it just so happened that the mosquito's bite injected directly into the large tumor in his head.

Oh yes, quick explanation about that last bit. You see, when Dib was very young and first started to investigate the paranormal, his father force-fed him a potion that was supposed to "cure him of his craziness". All it had actually done was cause him to develop a giant brain tumor. And while it was benign, it had had some unpleasant side effects that had contributed to making his life miserable. Namely, not only warping his head to an unusual size, but also blocking and absorbing a huge chunk of his body's blood and protein flow, resulting in his tiny cock.

But now, courtesy of the extremely high good luck that Anansi had provided Dib with, that tumor was suddenly directly injected with pure malaria. And, in a one-in-a-million chance that wouldn't have been possible otherwise, this caused the tumor to instantly wither and die, and freeing everything it had trapped. This had two immediate effects on Dib: the first, which he didn't immediately notice beyond a tingling in his head, was said head shrinking down to a normal size. The second, which he most certainly did notice, was when all that blocked body mass suddenly swam downward to where it rightfully belonged. Which in laymen's terms meant that his penis suddenly enlarged, growing to easily eleven or twelve inches.

To say that Dib was shocked by this sudden development would be a definite understatement. It was even enough to override the fear he felt at his impending humiliation, and outright make him forget about it for a moment, being unable to do anything but stare down at his suddenly massive dick.

"Oh my gods!" a feminine voice suddenly cried out, snapping Dib out of his shock and reminding him of his predicament. Looking up, he once again went red in the face as he saw that the crowd of girls were now standing only a few feet away, and were all staring at him. Some were slack-jawed and wide-eyed, others were clasping their hands over their mouths, giggling and blushing, but they all had their gazes locked squarely on his exposed crotch.

Dib was so paralyzed by shock and embarrassment, he didn't even bother trying to cover himself; he just stood there, staring at the girls staring at him, for a few moments of incredibly awkward silence. It was finally broken when the girl at the head of the group — Zita, he thought her name was — was the first person to snap out of her shock, a sly smirk forming on her face.

"Why, Dib," she said coyly, sauntering up to him, "I guess we all owe you an apology. Your head is definitely _not_ the biggest part of you. Though to be honest, right now it's looking pretty small, but maybe that's just by comparison."

Dib's blush somehow got even deeper as the other girls all giggled at Zita's comments. Finally snapped out of his shock, he reacted the only way he could, trying to cover himself up with his hands. But he found that this was a bit harder than it had been before, and it just encouraged more giggles and cooing.

"Aw, don't be shy, _big boy_ ," one of the other girls said.

"Yeah, you should be proud to be such a stud," another added.

"Come to think of it, I've never noticed before how muscular you, too," Zita commented, reaching out and running a finger down Dib's chest. Speaking of whom, it should be noted that this was the most positive attention he'd gotten from members of the opposite sex, ever. So, despite the continued embarrassment still burning away at him, he couldn't help but feel a certain thrill of excitement run through him. Which made itself apparent as it suddenly became even harder to cover himself.

"Ooh, now he's even bigger!" one of the girls exclaimed happily. This set off a whole new round of giggles, and set Dib right back to feeling humiliated.

"Well, uh," he stammered, finally getting his voice back, "I'll, um, just be going now, so…"

"Don't be silly!" Zita said, smiling wolfishly, "We can't just leave you like this, it'd be rude. You should come with us."

"Yeah," another girl chimed in, "We can get you something to wear… eventually."

"In the meantime, we're going to meet that new girl who just moved here from that other village," a third girl said, "And I'm sure she'd just _love_ to meet you, and your not-so-little friend there."

Dib tried to protest, but soon found himself completely encircled by the group and being all but carried away by them, a not entirely unpleasant situation, he had to admit. And soon, thanks to their sudden fascination with him, he'd find himself meeting a blue-haired girl named Tak, in fact a succubus who was going to be quite interested in him… which sounds bad at first glance, but in fact would turn out to be a _very_ enjoyable experience for Dib, and the trigger for a series of events that would see him expose and defeat Zim, becoming a hero to the village and Tak taking him on as a favorite lover.

Ah, but we seem to have gotten very much offtrack from the original course this story set out on. So, let's rewind a bit, to right after Dib got thrown out that window.

Back up in the Membrane treehouse, Gaz watched her brother disappear out the window, her only reaction being an arched eyebrow. She hadn't intended that to happen, but she wasn't that broken up about it either. She doubted he'd die or be seriously injured, and any harm that did befall him would just be a constant reminder to not bother her.

With things, as far as she was concerned, over and done with, Gaz turned to the large barrel of water in the corner of the room so that she could wash the spilled juice off herself. However, before she got there, she paused, noticing that Dib's loincloth was still wrapped around her hand, having snapped off when she'd tossed him away.

"Ugh, gross. I don't need to be holding onto a rag soaked with his nut sweat," she muttered, trying to toss it away. Unfortunately for her, she soon found that all her twisting of the loincloth for that wedgie she'd given Dib had caused to tie into a tight knot around her fingers, leaving it stuck on her hands.

Growling, she grabbed the knot with her free hand and tried to untie it, but had no success. Now thoroughly annoyed, she marched over to a window (not the same one Dib fell out of, just to be clear) and reached out to a nearby small branch. She worked it underneath the knot and, bracing herself against the window, started pulling back. As she'd hoped, this caused the branch to tear through the material of the loincloth, letting it flutter away from her hand.

Watching it fall away, Gaz huffed and started to lean back away from the window… and that was when the termite damage to the part of the floor she was standing on caused it to cave in slightly. This of course threw her off balance and caused her to fall forward, and go tumbling out of the window.

Now, as stated before, this was a different window than Dib had been thrown out of. So, whereas Dib had had a clear drop to the ground, Gaz found herself smacking into branch after branch on the way down. On the bright side, this broke her fall enough that she wouldn't have to worry about the fall killing her, but it was still pretty damn painful.

There was also the fact that while Dib had fallen out of a side of the treehouse facing the village, Gaz fell out a side leaning out over the jungle. Which would explain why there just so happened to be an elephant randomly walking by beneath the house, having wandered over from a nearby river where it had been drinking. Which put it in just the right position for the falling Gaz to land on its head. The impact naturally startled the elephant; rearing up and trumpeting, it charged off into the jungle, carrying Gaz, who was still lying on its head.

"Stop, you dumb animal!" Gaz screamed. When the elephant didn't respond to the order, Gaz resorted to her standard reaction — violence. She grabbed ahold of the elephant's ears and tugged them back hard, hoping the pain would make it stop. This worked, but immediately backfired, as the elephant stopped and immediately began shaking its head around viciously, trying to shake its unwanted passenger off.

It finally succeeded, as since Gaz didn't exactly have a good grip on anything, she was only able to hold on for a few moments. She flew through the air, hitting the ground and bouncing a few feet before coming to a stop. The elephant, having released its burden, snorted and huffed for a few minutes more, before it finally calmed down and walked away, leaving Gaz groaning on the ground.

"Stupid elephant," Gaz muttered, as she got to her feet, only to hiss in pain as she tried to stand up straight. Looking down, she saw that one of her legs had a large, nasty-looking bruise around the knee — whether from the fall out of the tree, hitting the elephant, or getting thrown off, she couldn't tell. Either way, it didn't appear as if anything was broken, but she'd be limping home.

Speaking of which, where was home?

"Damn it," Gaz cursed, as she looked around at her endless green surroundings, no sign of the village in sight, "Which way am I supposed to go?"

Before Gaz could even try to determine which direction led back to her village, a deep growling reached her ears. Turning around, she went pale at the sight of a large panther, which had just emerged from the trees a few yards away from her, and was now staring at her hungrily.

Now, Gaz was tough. But even in prime physical condition and with weapons, she'd think twice before facing off with a full-grown panther alone. Unarmed and with a busted up leg, however… well, she found herself in the rare position of actually being scared, and acted on it. She spun around and began running as fast as possible in the opposite direction from the panther — she didn't care if it was the right way back to the village or not, as long as it got her to safety.

Unfortunately, with her leg as injured as it was, her "running" was little more than a moderately-fast shambling walk. And she could hear the panther moving, stalking her, no doubt deciding to play with her a bit before moving in for the kill. Desperate, she ran towards the nearest tree and, not wanting to waste time climbing its trunk, jumped up into the air and grabbed ahold of the nearest branch. And her timing was nearly perfect, as the panther chose the same moment to pounce at her, jaws parted wide and aiming to close around any part of her body they could catch.

The good news was that Gaz's leap saved her life, as the panther fell short of her torso or legs. The bad news was that it did manage to clasp its jaws in a vice-like grip on the back of her loincloth.

"GAH!" Gaz yelped in sudden pain, as she quickly learned the hard way that wedgies were just as painful for girls as they were for boys. And the panther wasn't looking ready to let go of its prey any time soon. Instead, it planted itself and reared back, jaws still locked on Gaz's loincloth, tightening its hold and pulling Gaz back. Gaz, in turn, was gripping to the tree branch as hard as she could, causing it to bend further and further towards the ground. Something would have to give, sooner or later.

And something did. There was a sudden tearing noise, and the next thing Gaz knew, the grip the panther had on her lower body disappeared. Without that additional weight, she wasn't heavy enough to keep the branch bent as far as it was. As such, it suddenly snapped back up, and the shock of the sudden movement caused her to let go of the branch; altogether, this meant that she was launched like a rock from a slingshot, and went flying into the air.

Gaz tumbled over and over as she was shot even further into the jungle, before she came to a sudden stop, slamming into a tree. She lay almost comically flattened against it for a moment, before sliding down to end in a heap at its base.

"Urgh," she groaned as she shakily got to her feet, "That sucked. Can this day get any worse?"

It should be noted that a blatant temptation of fate such as that would have been a bad idea even without Gaz's newfound awful luck. But in any case, her question was immediately answered, as she suddenly noticed a strong draft around her waist. Confused, she looked down, and blushed brightly enough to be seen from space, as she saw that her loincloth had been torn off (thus explaining the tearing sound she'd heard and how the panther had lost its grip on her), completely exposing her most private parts for all to see. Squealing in embarrassment, Gaz instinctively clasped her hands over her crotch and quickly backed up to press against the tree she'd just collided with in order to conceal her butt.

And as she cowered there, shivering in cold and panic, trying to figure out how she could cover herself back up, she failed to notice the large hornet's nest dangling from the tree branches above her. Her impact into the tree had shaken it quite a bit, causing several of its inhabitants to emerge, trying to see what had disturbed them. As they did, a sweet scent caught their attention, and they began drifting down towards its source — specifically, the dried berry juice that Gaz was still covered in.

It wasn't until the first of the hornets landed on Gaz's stomach that she even noticed them. Instinctively, she swatted at them, but this just angered them, and she yelped in pain as they started stinging her.

"Damn it!" she growled, swatting even harder, though failing to hit most of the hornets, which just retaliated by stinging even more. In her wild swinging, Gaz ended up smacking the tree several times, shaking the nest more and more, until it finally broke loose and fell, crashing right into her head and splitting open.

Gaz screamed as an entire swarm of hornets emerged from the destroyed nest and descended on her, stinging just about every inch of her skin that was exposed to them… which, given the loss of her loincloth, was a considerably large amount. Gaz smacked and swung her fists as fast and as hard as she could, but somehow kept managing to miss most of the hornets, only succeeding in making them all angrier and causing them to sting her even more.

Blinded with panic, anger, and most of all pain, Gaz ran as fast as her wounded leg would let her. She didn't even know where she was running to, she was just hoping that it took her away from the hornets. But, in keeping with her luck so far, the hornets weren't willing to let her go so easily, and were easily able to keep up with her thanks to her limp.

This continued on for several more minutes, until Gaz burst through a bush and suddenly felt the ground disappear from beneath her feet. She had reached the top of a small hill directly overlooking a river, with a steep incline on the side facing the water. An incline she now found herself tumbling down uncontrollably, having been moving too fast to have a chance to catch herself in time.

Gaz rolled and bounced down the hill, seemingly smacking into every single rock and root sticking out of the ground along the way. Finally, she reached the bottom of the hill, and rolled straight into the river. It was deep enough that she was quickly submerged, and the current was fast enough to quickly carry her away from where she'd entered the water. The hornet swarm hovered over that spot for a few moments, before giving up and flying away.

Meanwhile, further downstream, Gaz resurfaced, gasping for breath and coughing out a lungful of water. Treading water purely on instinct for a minute or two, she forced herself to calm down, and angled herself so that she'd float as she was carried by the current, without having to put any effort into it. As she floated, at this point having absolutely no idea where she was in relation to the village, she let her pulse and breathing return to normal, while her mind desperately went over everything that had happened to her.

So, to recap — she had a busted-up leg, probably more cuts and bruises than she could count, dozens of hornet sting-induced welts, she was half naked, and now she was floating down a river in the middle of the jungle with no idea where she was. Yeah, that sounded like a complete list of all the crap she'd been through. Well, at least the cool water was soothing her wounds; that was a plus, however minor.

She was just readjusting her focus towards figuring out what she'd be able to cover herself with once she got back onto shore, when she noticed a noise in the distance, growing steadily closer. Frowning in confusion, and just a little bit of concern in light of everything else, she raised her head out of the water and tilted it to the side to try and better catch the sound. As it got closer, she realized it was the sound of water rushing.

Rushing and _falling_.

Eyes once again snapping open in panic, Gaz's head shot up to look downriver, and was greeted by the sight of what was very clearly a waterfall. And she was heading right for it.

"Shit!" she exclaimed, before desperately attempting to swim towards the shore. However, this close to the fall, the current was too strong. It held her fast, and carried her right over the edge.

Gaz screamed as she fell, only for it to be cut off with a grunted gasp as she came to sudden halt. Looking around frantically, she saw that she was hanging from a small tree growing horizontally out of the cliff face covered by the waterfall. Specifically, it had snagged the back of her fur top, leaving her dangling in midair.

"Okay," she breathed, forcing herself to stay calm, "I can deal with this. I just need to figure out how to swing myself around to one of the sides of the cliff. Then I can climb back up and-AH!"

Gaz's attempts at saving herself were immediately quashed, as there was a snapping sound, and she was once again falling. Fortunately, being caught on the tree had shortened the fall enough that the resulting impact with the bottom of the waterfall didn't kill or even injure her, it just stunned her for a moment. As the current continued on carrying her downriver, she broke the surface and once again coughed and gasped for breath.

"Gah, what now? Did the stupid tree break or some… oh, come on!" Gaz's complaints trailed off into a shout of outraged surprise. There, several feet away and floating quite separately from her, was her top. Apparently, the tree branch hadn't broken; instead, it had torn through the back of her top, not only causing her to fall but also allowing it to slip free of her body upon impacting the water.

Gaz immediately began swimming towards her top, intent on reclaiming it — she could always tie off the pieces of the back, after all. And the fact was, she was facing enough potential humiliation if caught _half_ naked, she couldn't stand the thought of being rendered _fully_ naked.

But, her awful luck struck once more, as just before she could reach the top, the water around it exploded out as a shape came bursting out from underneath, quickly resolving into a rather large crocodile.

"AHHHH!" Gaz screamed, quickly turning around and sprint-swimming towards the nearest riverbank as fast as she could, not stopping until she was out of the water and scrambling up the small slope leading down towards the water. Once atop the slope, Gaz finally allowed herself to look back, and her panic quickly turned to surprise, annoyance, and finally anger.

The crocodile, it seemed, hadn't even noticed her. Instead, it appeared to have mistaken her top for a living thing, and easier prey, and had subsequently attacked it. Even now, it was thrashing about, trying to "kill" its target. Eventually, however, it seemed to realize its mistake, and dropped the top, which had since been torn to shreds. Gaz could only watch as her last remaining piece of clothing fell apart and disappeared beneath the surface of the water, the crocodile soon following.

"Stupid lizard," Gaz growled as she got to her feet, "As soon as I get home, I'm grabbing some spears and knives, then I'm coming back here and turning you into a bag!"

Rage vented for the moment, Gaz suddenly remembered her current predicament and once again turned red in embarrassment, wrapping her arms around herself.

She couldn't believe this. As bad as things had been before, at least her chest had had some cover, providing her at least some semblance of modesty, but now she was totally exposed! She couldn't imagine how she'd be able to live with the humiliation if anyone were to see her now — hell, she didn't even like sharing the communal bath with the other girls in the tribe! She would always just intimidate them all into avoiding it when she was using it. Mostly because, while she had reached the age where girls started developing breasts, hers hadn't really started coming in yet, leaving her at barely an A cup, something she was very self-conscious about.

"I can make cover," she reassured herself, "Just need to gather some leaves and vines or something. People will stare, sure, but if they say anything I'll just smash their faces in."

Mind set on what she was going to do, Gaz turned to walk away from the river and search the nearby plants for anything she could create makeshift clothes out of… and made it two steps before the ground she was on, which was really just barely solid mud, gave out underneath her, causing her to fall on her face and go sliding down the slope all the way back to the water's edge.

"Damnit!" she shrieked, spitting out mud. She tried to clamber back to her feet, only to slip again, crashing on her back.

While Gaz struggled just to stand up, only to repeatedly fall back down, she failed to notice that she was being watched. Up in the trees overlooking the river were several monkeys. They sat amongst the branches, staring intently down at where Gaz was flailing on the muddy slope.

Monkeys are fairly intelligent creatures, and thus, they recognized the girl below them. She was the Purple Demon, the human girl-child who hunted their kind not for food or even honorable sport, but for seemingly nothing else than the thrill of causing them pain. She would track and trap them, leaving them dangling from trees while she threw rocks, knives, and even arrows at them while they were totally defenseless. Over the years, she had become a great figure of fear for the monkeys and other animals of the jungle.

Yet here she was, with no weapons, no nets, not even those coverings the humans all wore for some reason. Not only that, she was splashing about in the mud like a newborn that hadn't learned how to walk yet. Overall, she didn't look terrifying. If anything, she was making them all laugh.

The monkeys chattered amongst themselves, discussing the situation. They quickly reached consensus that, seeing her like this, she didn't seem like much of a threat. But, she had caused their kind so much heartbreak and pain, they couldn't just leave her be. No, she had to be punished for her sins.

While the monkeys were having their debate, Gaz was finally managing to make her way up the slope. Having eventually realized that the muddy ground wasn't strong enough to support her standing weight, she had started crawling her way up. Cresting the top of the slope, she kept crawling until she was well away from it, not wanting to risk falling back down yet again. Once she felt the ground beneath her firm up, she finally allowed herself to stop, and let her sore limbs go out from beneath her, falling flat against the hard earth. As she sat there, groaning at the especially strong ache in her banged up leg, she reflected on the fact that, in addition to all her other problems, she was now covered almost entirely in mud.

"Can this day just be over already?" she moaned. And that was when a shadow fell over her, and she heard the sound of several small feet moving around her. Eyes snapping open, Gaz looked up in a panic, but calmed down at the sight that greeted her. She'd been worried that someone had come across her, but it was just a bunch of monkeys.

"Shoo. Beat it," she said, waving an arm halfheartedly at them, "I'm not in the mood. Go away."

The monkeys' only response was to tilt their heads, staring down at her inquisitively. Gaz growled; the last thing she needed right now was a bunch of filthy animals messing with her. As annoying as it would be to do so with her bare hands, given the lack of weapons anywhere nearby, she'd just have to kill a few of them in order to scare away the rest.

"Okay, you know what?" she said lowly, as she pushed herself back up to her hands and knees, "After everything I've been through today, I think I'm actually going to enjoy this-"

She was cut off as the monkeys suddenly all screeched as one. And before her ears could even finish ringing from this animalistic battle cry, the monkeys rushed her. The group tackle knocked her over, landing on her back, before the monkeys swarmed over her.

"Hey, let go!" Gaz shouted, as the monkeys took firm holds on her limbs, and lifted her into the air, carrying her over to a nearby tree. She struggled as hard as she could, but she was still too weak from all her recent exertions to put up a proper fight.

"I said let me go, you furry fucks!" she screamed, "I'm going to rip your fucking hides off and sew them back on inside out! I'm gonna… huh?"

Gaz trailed off as she felt something suddenly slip around her wrist and tighten. Managing to turn her head, she saw that a vine had been wrapped and knotted around her wrist; moments later, she felt the same thing on her other wrist, and turned her gaze around in time to see another monkey repeating the process on that hand.

"What are you doinnnnnnnAAAAAHHHH!" Gaz screamed as she suddenly found herself rapidly ascending into the air. If she had looked up, she would have seen that a pair of monkeys were holding onto the other ends of the vines and were running up the trees, carrying her by extension. They ran up and up, until they reached the lowest hanging branches. They then stopped, bringing Gaz to a sudden stop as well, before tying the vines off to two different branches.

While Gaz's head spun from the sudden flight and even more sudden stop, she swung in the air like a pendulum, but only for a few moments. Because meanwhile, on another tree facing the one she was dangling from, another pair of monkeys had ascended to the branches directly opposite the ones she had been hung up from. They were each carrying another vine, each of which had been tied up to form an organic lasso. The monkeys swung them around and then launched them through the air at Gaz. They each found their mark, managing to wrap around her ankles. Gaz barely had a chance to register that before the monkeys pulled back on the vines, before tying them off to two different branches.

Gaz was now being suspended in a horizontal spread-eagle, a good dozen feet above the ground. She struggled and squirmed, but the vine restraints were too tight, and her limbs too stretched out. She could barely budge them, let alone get enough leverage to break free. She looked up to glare at the monkeys, seeing that a few dozen had gathered in the branches of both trees, and were all staring down at her.

"When I get free of here, I'm going to kill every last one of-ah!" Once again, Gaz's threats were cut off, this time as a small rock suddenly hit her on the forehead, having been thrown by one of the monkeys. And even as she was blinking the resulting tears of pain from her eyes, the rest of the monkeys took up the apparent call to arms, raining rocks and sticks down on her.

This went on for a few minutes that felt like an eternity, before finally stopping. When it did, Gaz was covered in cuts and bruises visible even through the mud covering her. Miraculously, however, these were all superficial; the barrage hadn't caused her any damage more serious than a split lip, which was already swelling. Despite the pain now radiating throughout her body, Gaz took a deep, calming breath.

" _Okay_ ," she thought, " _If they've stopped throwing things at me, that either means they're out of ammo, or they got bored. Either way, they're probably bound to let me go now…_ "

And that was when something foul smelling hit her square in the stomach.

"What the… oh, fuck! Gah!" Gaz exclaimed, as she got a good look at the big, steaming monkey turd sitting on her stomach. However, her disgust quickly turned to panic, as she realized what was about to happen… just in time for a rain of monkey feces to fall on her, soon covering her from head to toe. If there was any bright spot to this, the fact that her eyes were normally closed anyway meant that at least she didn't have to worry about any of the feces getting in them. Mercifully, this barrage was much shorter than the rock and stick one, but that didn't lessen any of the disgust that Gaz was feeling at being covered in monkey shit.

Nor did she feel any better when she noticed all the monkeys were leaving… _without_ untying her.

"Hey, where are you going?!" she demanded, "You had your fun, now let me go! Get back here and untie me! Come back!"

But the monkeys didn't heed her, disappearing into the trees. They'd hurt and degraded the Purple Demon, and now they were leaving her to rot among the trees — whether she could escape or not was not their concern.

And so it was, that Gaz was left suspended in the air, covered in mud and dung that was slowly drying and hardening in the high afternoon sun. Which also had the added displeasure of making the dung somehow smell even worse than it already did. The stench got bad enough that she ended up vomiting until she was dry heaving; thankfully, she could still turn her head enough to let the bile fall to the side, rather than spilling over her. So, there was that, at least.

And as Gaz continued to try and break free, while simultaneously trying very hard to avoid another round of retching, she failed to notice the mosquito flying up to one of the few still remaining clean patches of skin on her head. It then promptly bit her.

Call it a universal counterbalance, or just call it an ironic coincidence, but this bite had a similar-but-opposite reaction to the one Dib received earlier. Like with him, she was spared a slow and painful malaria-induced death, and instead had a one-in-a-million reaction. But hers wasn't one to be grateful for — while some quirk in her biology was going to keep her from getting sick, it did nothing to stop a massive allergic reaction from kicking in, the tissue throughout her head swelling in response to the bite. In just a few seconds, her head was about as big as Dib's had been with the tumor, maybe even larger.

Also, though this wouldn't become apparent for some time yet, there would be side effects to this, much as there had been for Dib. Just as his tumor had blocked the blood and protein flow to his penis and hindered its growth, this rapid growth of Gaz's head just happened to be blocking the flow to and growth of her breasts. As she grew older, Gaz would find that her chest would remain virtually flat; while not something she generally focused on, it would be a source of mockery aimed at her by other girls for a very long time.

In the meantime, though, Gaz had other problems to worry about. Aside from the pain caused by her head suddenly swelling up, which understandably had her focus at the moment, there was the fact that said swelling added quite a bit of weight to the upper half of her body. This put added pressure on the vines holding her, especially the ones on her wrists, which strained for a few minutes before finally snapping simultaneously. Gaz had exactly two seconds to realize what had happened and feel excitement about it, before she remembered how gravity worked, and it kicked in.

Gaz screamed as she fell, but not directly down. Due to the other vines still tied around her ankles, she instead swung like a pendulum… and ended up slamming right into the tree. Seconds later, the remaining vines snapped as well, and Gaz once again found herself sliding down a tree to land in an undignified heap at its base.

Groaning at the newest pains to hit her, Gaz shakily got to her feet, and reached up to rub her sore head. And her eyes widened in shock as she felt how swollen it was.

"Wha… what happened to my head?! Why the hell is it so big?!" she shrieked, "Goddammit! Motherfu-"

"Daughter? Is that you?" a familiar voice suddenly said. Freezing, Gaz slowly turned her head to see her father standing nearby, wearing his usual garb — a long fur cloak and face-concealing wooden mask — and pushing a cart full of plants and herbs. Apparently he'd been out on one of his regular trips to pick up natural ingredients for his potions and tonics. Not that Gaz really registered any of that, being more focused on the fact that she'd finally found help.

"Dad!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around herself in embarrassment, but still feeling hope blossom, "Thank goodness! Help me!"

"What in the world do you think you're doing?" Membrane demanded angrily, not seeming to hear his daughter's plea, "Running around naked like an infant, covering yourself in… I don't even want to know what that is. Your brother is supposed to be the crazy one! Well, what do you have to say for yourself, young lady?"

Gaz could only stare at her father in shock, mouth opening and closing repeatedly as she tried to understand his reaction, her hope shattering. Did he actually think she was like this on _purpose?!_

"But, I," she stammered, trying to form a coherent response, "Elephant, panther, hornets, crocodile, monkeys…"

"Stop that gibberish!" Membrane snapped, before sighing in disgust, "Is _this_ what you do when you wander off into the jungle every day? As delusional as your brother is, at least his actions make some kind of sense. But this? This is just foolishness! And I won't accept it from any child of mine."

"But I didn't want to do this, it just happened!" Gaz said, near-hysterically, "And look at my head! Do you think I did this to myself?"

"It is impossible for you to have gotten that filthy accidentally. And as for your head, it's clearly just an allergic reaction to everything you've covered yourself in," Membrane replied, concern lacking from his voice, "I'll treat it once we're back in the village. Which is that way, so get moving."

Gaz looked in the direction her father was pointing, at least a little relief hitting her at realizing how soon she could finally get home. And then she realized the implication of what he'd just said.

"Wait, I can't go there like this!" she protested, "Don't you have anything I can clean myself with? Or spare clothes? Anything?!"

"No, you'll be going _exactly_ like that," Membrane said firmly, "I want everyone to see what a disgrace you've made of yourself. Maybe that will break this habit of yours."

"But it's not a habit! I-"

"No talking back! Now move!" he snapped, tone leaving no room for argument. And, quite frankly, he was the only person she could never bring herself to even try and fight against.

And so, that was how Gaz found herself slowly marching into and through the village, still completely naked and coated with mud and dung, trying pitifully to cover herself with her arms, and her swollen head throbbing painfully in time with her still-sore leg, her father's glare as he followed behind burning into her back. All of which was bad enough, without the fact that damn near the entire village population seemed to be present to watch her walk of shame, and she could hear the comments already flying.

"Oh my gods, is that Gaz? Why is she naked?"

"EW! Who cares about that, what's she covered in?"

"Ha! Look at how flat she is! She looks more like a boy!"

"Yeah, a really _ugly_ boy."

"Has her head always been that big?"

Gaz's eyes welled up with tears of shame, as each jeer tore away another scrap of her sense of superiority. There would be no coming back from this, she just knew it.

And on another plane of existence, Anansi looked upon his work with a wide smile on his lips/mandibles. It was safe to say that this had turned out pretty well. Dib was on his way to becoming a well loved (in _every_ sense of the word) hero of the village, while Gaz would now be reduced to a laughingstock. After years of being mocked for his head size and beliefs, Dib now had a perfectly normal anatomy (aside from parts the ladies would call "exceptional") and was going to go on to be known as the "Great Hero". Gaz, meanwhile, now lacked the fear and respect of her fellow villagers that she'd been coasting by on, and they would never be intimidated by her again. Meanwhile, her father would never determine the actual cause of her head's deformity nor its connection to her flat chest, and would thus never be able to fix either, leaving her forever mocked for both. And worst off all, no one would ever forget the sight of her walking through the village covered in feces, tainting her forever with the nickname "Dung Girl".

Yes, the Spider was quite content. He had played a magnificent trick, completely switching around this karmic balance. And he was sure it was going to make for one hell of a story, for a long, long time…

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

 **The End**

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 **A/N: Wow, almost ten thousand words. This is the longest oneshot I've ever written. Didn't expect it to turn out quite like this.**

 **Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this. You especially, CC — I made a few changes from the outline you gave me, but I hope it was still a fun read.**

 **Please, everyone, review and let me know what you think!**


	2. Dib The Jungle Boy's Great Day

**A/N: Surprise! While this was plotted as a oneshot, Cowardly Christian wanted an additional story focused on what happened to Dib after he was last seen being carried off by his newfound admirers, and sent me another outline to work with. So, here you go.**

 **As with the Gaz-centric portion of the story, I warn that this story will be more mature and wacky than my usual writings, to better fit CC's style, which I'm trying to emulate in order to honor his outline. If it's not to your liking, by all means, don't read.**

 **Disclaimer: Invader Zim and all related characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez, Nickelodeon, and Oni Press, not to me.**

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

 **Dib The Jungle Boy's Great Day**

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

While Gaz was off being smacked around in the jungle, Dib was still where he'd been when the story last left him — naked, and being carted through the village by a throng of girls who'd taken a sudden, rather obsessive interest in him. Now, one may ask why his newfound, Anansi-induced luck wasn't protecting him from this. Well, fact of the matter was, for a straight, post-pubescent young man like Dib, having a large group of pretty girls fawning over him (especially over his suddenly enlarged manhood) was far from bad luck. In fact, despite the embarrassment he was feeling at the moment, one could argue that this was the best luck Dib had had in a long time.

As for the public nudity, that wasn't really much of an issue at the moment either, as there were so many girls crowded around Dib that they were blocking him from the view of anyone outside the group. True, his head and upper body could be seen amongst the crowd, but not his exposed lower body. So, all anyone outside the group would see was the witchdoctor's crazy son being escorted somewhere by a large group of oddly excited girls — unusual, but not something to really dwell on.

Unless, of course, you were a certain green-skinned Anhanguera whom shared a mutual utter loathing with Dib.

Zim stood partially hidden behind a hut, watching as the crowd of girls practically carried his nemesis through the village. Like his counterparts in IZ-Prime and most other universes, he was wearing an absolutely awful disguise — though given the setting, it wasn't a wig and contacts, but a weak glamor spell which only hid his horns and true eyes. Everything else, from his green skin to his too-few number of fingers, was clearly visible to everyone watching. But, again just like in most other universes, the majority of humans in this world were far too stupid to ever really register this, with Dib (whom no one believed) and Gaz (who was too apathetic to care) being the only exceptions.

But now here Dib was, surrounded by a large crowd of fellow humans, who seemed to be practically worshipping him. And lacking the proper context as he was, this unusual sight was setting off alarms in Zim's head.

"What is that filthy meat-stink up to?" Zim muttered to himself, "Why are all those females following him around? Has he somehow enthralled them? He must be trying to raise them in an army against me! Fool, I won't let him get away with this!"

Eyes flashing their true red color as he growled in paranoid rage, Zim watched Dib and the crowd of girls disappear behind some other huts, then turned away. Looking around to make sure no one else was around or looking in his direction, he raised a hand to his mouth and whistled. A moment later, there was a rustling in the trees above him, and something dropped to the ground in front of him. It was a small, gangly, gremlin-like creature, with green fur and bright cyan eyes. This was Zim's Tikoloshe minion, Gir, dedicated to his service in all things, and ready and able to carry out his every whim.

Which would have been pretty impressive, if not for the fact that, in another multiversal constant, Gir was a total idiot. As evidenced by the fact that his landing had left him lying on his face on the ground.

"Gir! Get up!" Zim demanded. Gir hopped to his feet, giggling as he licked the dirt off of himself.

"Tastes like worms!" the little spirit said happily.

"Focus, Gir," Zim snapped, "Now listen carefully. I want to follow the Dib-Human and see what he and his new army of disgusting female followers, and learn what scheme they're trying to hatch against me. Understand?"

"Yes, Master!" Gir said, eyes flashing red for a moment as he saluted Zim. Then he jumped back up into the trees and began running through them and across the roofs of several huts, following after Dib's crowd.

However, as he was wont to do, Gir was quickly distracted. A swarm of butterflies fluttered through the air near him, gaining his attention. Gir stopped running after Dib, and turned to chase the colorful insects instead, completely forgetting his original purpose. Ironically, this still led him in the same direction that Dib's group was heading, but he easily surpassed them and kept going.

As the butterflies swooped down to fly closer to the ground, Gir jumped down and continued to chase them… and moments later was swung up into the air by a snare trap, which then dropped him into a spike-lined cage, a bell attached to the cage jingling from the impact.

As it happened, Gir had ended up at the hut at the outskirts of the village where the succubus Tak was residing. After joining the village, she had quickly set up traps like these all around her new lair; officially, this was to keep vermin away, but it was really to catch any intruders who might interfere with her plans to seduce local men for her pleasure.

Had circumstances still been in the same status quo as prior to Anansi's intervention, when Dib's bad luck balanced out with Zim's own, equally bad luck as they clashed, then Gir would have wandered off in a random direction, leaving Dib to be the one to walk into one of these traps, injuring him and scaring off his newfound admirers. But now, Gir triggering one of these traps ahead of Dib's arrival was about to set things on a different path.

Gir giggled as he twitched and squirmed in the cage, the mundane spikes not harming the spirit creature at all. Meanwhile, the bell on the cage kept jingling, until a shadow fell over the cage and a hand gripped it, stopping the bell's movement. Gir looked up, greeted by the sight of what appeared to be a young woman with blue hair and purple eyes.

"Well, what do we have here?" Tak asked, "A Tikoloshe? Are you here by yourself, little spirit, or are you in service to someone else?"

"Imma pincushion!" Gir responded happily.

"Right," Tak deadpanned, "So, you're clearly an idiot. Well, let's do this the hard way, then."

Tak's eyes glowed a bright purple as she accessed her magic, peering into Gir's mind. She grimaced as she peeled back the various layers of stupidity and insanity in the spirit's mind, before finally getting a firm grasp on his memories, and started going through those. And as she did, she began to growl, fangs appearing in her mouth.

" _Zim_ ," she hissed, the name practically venom on her tongue.

She knew who he was of course. Every demonic spirit in the world knew about that incompetent idiot, who did more damage to their own kind than to the humans. But Tak in particular had suffered at his hands — several decades earlier, he had somehow misfired a spell that destroyed the glamor spells of every demon for a thousand miles, exposing them all to the humans. Because of this, Tak had almost been killed by an angry mob before she'd managed to drag herself to safety. And even then, she'd spent years hiding in a cave before she could properly restore her glamor.

But now, here they were, both of them in the same village, giving her a chance for revenge. The question was, how was she going to go about it?

As Tak continued to examine Gir's memories, a particular subject caught her attention. It seemed there was a particular human living in this village who kept ruining Zim's pathetic little plans to destroy it. This "Dib" seemed like a useful source of information on that fool, and what luck, it appeared he was on his way here right now. She'd be able to pump him for any details that would enable her to eliminate Zim… and maybe have a little "fun" while she was at it. A succubus had needs, after all.

"But first, what do we do with you?" Tak mused, turning her attention back to Gir himself, "I can't leave you running around, not when you might warn your master of my existence. But, you're too pathetic to kill. Mhm… Mimi! Come!"

There was the sound of rushing wind, and then another Tikoloshe appeared at Tak's side, this one with pitch-black fur and bright crimson eyes. She glared at the caged Gir, who waved happily at her, before looking up at her mistress expectantly.

"Take this idiot out into the jungle somewhere and keep him there for the rest of the day," she ordered, before adding with a smirk, "And by all means, enjoy yourself."

Mimi saluted, before practically ripping Gir out of his cage and disappearing in a blur out amongst the trees. Tak watched them go, and then turned her attention towards temporarily disabling her traps.

She had to get ready for the company she had coming.

XXXXXXX

Dib had very mixed feelings about what was happening to him right now. He was naked in public, surrounded by a large group of the village's prettiest girls, all of whom were eyeing him like a piece of meat, and kept "accidentally" slapping or pinching his butt, or bumping into him in a way that momentarily jostled his hands off of covering exposed crotch. Which was all utterly humiliating… except for the fact that the girls actually seemed to _like_ him, and all this appeared to be flirtation, rather than mockery. And given his until very recent pariah status, he had zero frame of reference for how to react to any of this.

"Here we are!" Zita suddenly said, snapping Dib out his embarrassment and introspection. Looking up, he saw that the group had arrived at a hut sitting on the very edge of the village. It wasn't treehouse-level of fancy, but it was still quite large, taking up the space of two or three of the village's regular huts. Also, while most of the other huts kept their windows bare and only had a large curtain to serve as a makeshift door, this one had its windows completely blocked off by curtains and had an actual wooden door. Altogether, it was a rather disconcerting sight, or so Dib would have thought if he weren't still too flustered to think properly.

While Dib was analyzing the hut, Zita stepped forth from the group and approached the door. As she did, she kept a friendly smile plastered on her face, despite the fact that she was quite annoyed — the one time that she actually wanted to hang around with Dib (and wow, was _that_ still an odd thought), and she was stuck leading a welcoming committee. This should have been her father's duty as the village chief, but he had delegated it to her while he "pursued matters of the utmost importance".

Which meant he was too busy screwing around with his harem to do his damn job, so he was making her do it instead.

Still, she thought as she knocked on the door and stepped back a bit so that the new arrival would have a view of the whole crowd and vice versa, at least she could get this over with quickly. Then she could get back to admiring what a stud Dib had turned out to be. True, there'd be yet another girl present that she'd have to share him with, but she could deal with that. Besides, how pretty could some girl who hadn't even shown herself publicly yet be?

Then the door opened, and everyone's jaws dropped.

Tak was an ageless, centuries-old demon, who could make herself appear as just about anything for the sake of seducing victims. However, her standard appearance, which she was using now, was of a teenage girl only a couple of years older than Dib was, and one who was positively _stacked_ for her age. Her breasts were huge, though not comically so, her ass was perfectly heart-shaped, she had just the right amount of muscle tone to look strong but not masculine, and frankly, her leopard bikini (dyed the same blue as her hair) looked like it was straining just to stay on the massive curves it was barely covering in the first place.

The mob of young humans could only stare, gobsmacked, the girls all instantly and incredibly jealous of the figure being presented to them. And as for Dib… well, if he wasn't self-conscious about his nudity before, he definitely was now, and not just because of the massive boner he was getting just looking at Tak. No, there was something in her gaze as it swept over him — piercing, calculating, and _hungry_ — that sent shivers of both fear and arousal down his spine.

For Tak's part, she kept her composure, but she was definitely surprised to see her newfound target was for some reason already naked. Still, she wasn't complaining; from what she could see, especially below the waist, she'd be able to get a decent round of mating out of this one, on top of the information she'd need to fight Zim.

"Um, hi?" Zita finally said, snapping out of her shock, "It's Tak, right? I'm Zita, Chief Man's daughter. On his behalf, me and my friends are here to welcome you to the village."

"Why, what a nice gesture," Tak said, glancing at Zita for a moment before turning her gaze back to a madly blushing Dib, "And I have to say, I love your choice of a hut-warming gift."

Dib's blush somehow deepened, while Zita and the other girls frowned in possessive jealousy. Noting this, Tak smirked, and set about defusing the situation, so she could sink her claws in (metaphorically anyway, at least for now).

"Oh, where are my manners?" she asked, stepping to the side, "Please, everyone, come in."

Still slightly disgruntled at Tak's eying of the guy they'd all firmly claimed as their own, the group of girls nevertheless started shuffling into the hut. Dib, meanwhile, had regained just enough composure to start thinking clearly, and realized he was feeling torn on what to do — again, this whole situation was embarrassing, but also a little thrilling, and he didn't know whether to enter the hut as well, or make a break for it.

Ultimately, the decision was taken out of his hands, as while he was thinking it over, the girls flanking him grabbed him by the shoulders and started practically dragging him inside. Tak stood by and watched it happen, smirking seductively as she stared after Dib's surprisingly firm rear while it vanished into her hut.

"This is going to be fun," she said, licking her lips hungrily, before entering the hut as well, shutting the door behind her.

XXXXXXX

Meanwhile, while all this was going on, Zim had retreated to his cave lair, awaiting Gir to return and inform him of Dib's plans. However, since he had the patience of a toddler, the half-hour that had gone by felt like an eternity, and said patience was hitting its breaking point.

"Where is that stupid little beast?" he growled, "Spy and report, that was all he was supposed to do. How hard is that?"

Zim continued to pace and mutter angrily around the cave, before paranoia suddenly hit him like a lightning bolt.

"Gah! What if Dib and his female slave army captured Gir? They'll be able to torture him for information to use against me!" Zim yelled, gripping his horns in panic, "Nonononono, this is bad. I have to eliminate Dib before he can raise his new forces against me!"

With that, Zim began scrambling around his lair, piecing together a plan. After a few minutes of barely thinking things through, he had one in place. Drawing a spell array on the dirt floor and spilling a few drops of his blood on it to activate it, the green-skinned demon stepped back as the magic symbols lit up with a fierce red light.

And as a massive shape took form in that light, Zim let out a bloodcurdling laugh that echoed across the jungle.

XXXXXXX

Back at Tak's hut, an impromptu party had broken out. After inviting everyone in, the disguised succubus in question had brought out her supplies of cake and wine and started passing them around. To the surprise expressed at her apparent overwhelming generosity, she had merely said that she was repaying their kindness at openly welcoming her into the community.

The fact that the food and wine were mildly drugged in order to make them all more susceptible to her hypnotic abilities, which were being used to make them focus on the treats instead of her and Dib, was an unstated bonus.

Dib, meanwhile, had taken refuge on a bench set against the back wall of the main room. He had grabbed a small cloth that had been lying on a table and was keeping it pressed against his crotch as a makeshift loincloth. Which was fine as long as he stayed sitting down, but it still wasn't a solution for once he got back up, not least of all because it would leave his backside still exposed.

Not that any of the girls would mind, he knew. But he still wasn't entirely comfortable with the situation, even if he was warming up to the attention he was receiving.

"Not much of a party person?" a voice asked from right next to him. Jumping slightly in surprise, Dib turned to see Tak had appeared and sat down next to him, leaning on her side against the back of the bench, head propped up on a hand. Between that and the angle she was lying at, it cut a very provocative image, especially given she was sitting only a foot away from him.

And wow, but it was suddenly a lot harder to keep that cloth pinned down.

"I, uh," Dib stammered, whole face a bright red, "I'm, uh, not invited to many parties. Plus, you know, I'm, er…"

"Completely naked?" Tak finished with a smirk, "I don't know why you'd be so uncomfortable about that. I think I speak for everyone here when I say that you've got nothing to be ashamed of in that department."

The red had now spread from Dib's face to the rest of his body. But despite that, he somehow managed to keep himself from devolving to a blubbering mess and forced himself to speak coherently.

"Leaving aside how embarrassing this all is," he said, "It's also just weird to suddenly have everyone acting like they like me, when I've been the village pariah for my whole life."

"Why's that?" she asked, leaning forward slightly to close the distance between them almost completely. To his credit, Dib was distracted by the ample cleavage now practically in his face for only a minute or two before managing to turn his attention back to her face and remembering what she'd just said.

"Er, uhm, well, it's because I believe in spirits and magic and demons and all the old stories," he said, his natural and longstanding irritation at his lot in life starting to break past his current embarrassment and arousal, voice rising as he went on, "I mean, there's so much stuff in this world we don't understand, but everyone acts like they know everything, and just turn a blind eye to anything out of the so-called normal. It's like I'm always surrounded by total idiots!"

"I know the feeling," Tak replied, rather honestly. While Zim was an extreme example, he wasn't an exception — it seemed to her that, over the past several centuries, the overall intelligence amongst demonkind had severely plummeted. Most didn't even bother putting much effort into their disguises, like she did, instead relying on very basic covers. It was a real disgrace, so she could actually sympathize a little with what Dib was going through.

In fact, as the conversation went on, she found that she could actually see a lot in common between herself and her mark. They were both highly intelligent, surrounded by others of their kind who were either oblivious to or actively demeaned their accomplishments. And yet both persisted, both being of strong enough wills to let nothing stand in their way of achieving their goals.

Plus, they both hated Zim. That was a huge bonus.

But really, the thing that Tak found herself enjoying most out of this conversation was the mere fact that it was an _intelligent_ conversation. Dib was the first person she'd talked to in she didn't even know how long who could actually keep up with everything she said, whatever the subject was, and sometimes even managed to outtalk her. It was amazingly refreshing.

Tak was enjoying the conversation so much, in fact, that it took her a while to realize that she wasn't even trying to carry out her original goal, of steering Dib towards sharing all his information on Zim, which she could use to her advantage.

" _What's wrong with me?_ " she mentally scolded herself, even while outwardly keeping up her exchange with Dib, " _He's just another man, I've had thousands in my time! Who cares how smart he is? I should be more concerned with getting Zim's weaknesses out of him. Not to mention getting at that monster between his legs. But… is it really so wrong to have decent companionship beyond their usefulness and mere carnal pleasure?_ "

Had Dib's luck still been what it was, Tak would have ended up stubbornly sticking to her original plan, refusing to change her ways after all this time for something as seemingly unimportant as finding an equal. Instead, she would have talked him into revealing everything he knew about Zim, then had a one night stand with him, covering her tracks afterwards by dumping him and these village bimbos somewhere else with altered memories that would make them all think that he'd sexually assaulted them, leading to him being driven out of the village by an angry mob.

However, thanks to Anansi's meddling, Dib's new luck was about to save him, in a very roundabout way. Because part of the reason that sequence of events would have played out that way would have been because Zim's ritual would have failed in being properly carried out. Instead, it was about to go off perfectly, preempting Tak's choice.

 _CRASH!_

One wall of Tak's hut was suddenly smashed down, catching everyone by surprise. And as the dust cleared, they could only stare in shock. For there before them, looming over the partially destroyed hut was a massive creature, with the body of a snake and a head of an elephant, its mouth filled with razor-sharp teeth.

This was a Grootslang, a mythical beast which Zim had summoned to capture Dib's "army" and bring them to him for interrogation. Had things stayed their old course, then Zim would have screwed up the summoning and command ritual, causing the monster to instead either run off back into the jungle, thus allowing Tak to make her decision uninterrupted, or arrive at the hut only to kill all its targets, leaving Dib the only survivor of the resulting massacre… which he then would have been blamed for, naturally enough.

But as it was, Zim had carried out the ritual perfectly. So, the Grootslang did as it was ordered, its tail sweeping out in an arc that knocked the bench Tak and Dib were seated on over, before continuing on to wrap around all the other girls, trapping them in its coils. And as it turned to go, it happened to notice Tak lying on the floor next to the overturned bench. It lashed out with its trunk, wrapping around the dazed succubus and pulling her into the air.

"Wha… hey, let go, you mindless brute!" Tak demanded. She tried to break free, but the grip was too strong for her struggles to work.

The Grootslang gave a bellowing roar, and then slithered away from the hut, disappearing into the jungle. As it left, a groaning Dib got out from beneath the bench. Shaking his head, he looked around, eyes widening in panic as he processed what happened.

"Aw, crap!" he shouted. Looking around for a weapon, he found a spear that had been propped decoratively against the destroyed wall, and had survived the wall's destruction. Grabbing it, he didn't even stop to try and think up a plan, instead chasing after the monster.

It didn't take long to catch up, as the Grootslang's size rendered it quite slow. Seeing it moving just ahead of him, Dib paused for a moment to take a calming breath, before charging forward with a battle cry, stabbing the spear into the Grootslang's tail. The monster shrieked, instinctively loosening its coils and dropping the girls as it turned around to face its attacker.

But Dib wasn't there anymore, having pulled the spear free and jumped onto the Grootslang's body. He then ran up its back, heading straight towards its head, the spear burying itself into the base of the neck. The Grootslang roared in pain, dropping Tak from its now limp trunk as it started violently convulsing.

Dib clutched tightly to the spear, barely managing to avoid being thrown through the air. As he did, his mind raced, before he suddenly remembered a spell he'd read about once; desperate, he began chanting what he could remember. Again, under previously normal circumstances, this would have backfired horribly for him as he misremembered the contents of the spell. But now, he did it perfectly, and a pulse of light shot out of his body, down the spear, and into the Grootslang's head — which promptly exploded.

The force of the explosion tossed Dib to the ground, and splattered the whole area — all the girls included — in blood and ooze. As the Grootslang's body slumped to the ground, Dib shakily got to his feet, and looked around in concern.

"Is everyone alright?" he asked. In response, the girls all stood up, wiping themselves free of monster body fluids as best they could.

"Yeah, thanks," Zita said, "Though I guess we should apologize for making fun of you when you said the village should put up anti-Grootslang wards. Not to mention, you know thanks for saving us all. You were great with that spear."

"I hope he's as good with that _other_ spear," another girl commented in a stage whisper.

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting stabbed with that thing," another replied, setting off a round of giggles. Dib could only stare in confusion, until he blushed brightly, realizing that his makeshift loincloth had been lost and left behind at some point.

As Dib once again desperately covered himself with his hands and the other girls were engaging in some fresh teasing, Tak was glaring at the dead Grootslang.

" _This must be Zim's doing,_ "she seethed, " _And I let myself almost be killed by it! If it wasn't for Dib…_ "

That thought trailed off as Tak processed it. Dib, whom she had been planning on pumping for information (and then just plain pumping), whom she had been intending to just use as a tool, had just saved her life, in a very epic fashion. All despite barely knowing her.

For once in her long life, Tak actually felt the pangs of guilt. Her withered conscious was piqued, and was demanding she make up for it. And as she looked around, her eyes lit up upon spying the perfect means of doing so.

"Well," she said loudly enough to catch everyone's attention, "That was quite the 'welcome to the village' party, but we should probably not be covered in gore when heading back. And look, there's a hot spring right here."

As she finished that statement, Tak gestured to the large natural basin of bubbling water sitting just a few feet away, which the Grootslang's death had just happened to drop them all in front of.

"Since it's here," Tak continued, a devilish smile forming on her face, "We should clean up. _All_ of us."

She ended that statement with a pointed look at Dib, whose eyes widened as he realized what she was implying.

"B-but, I, boy, girls, bathing together, I-" he stammered.

"Oh, lay off it, I'm with Tak on this," Zita said, far too happily, "I'd say you _definitely_ earned this. Besides, we've gotten to see you naked all day, it's only fair we return the favor. Right, girls?"

As the girls all eagerly chimed in agreement, Dib desperately fought against his hormones for one last shred of dignified and modest chivalry.

"I can't-" he weakly started to protest. But then Tak, with an unseen burst of magic, shut off the spell keeping her too-small bikini on her body, allowing it to practically burst off of her. Dib could then only stare slack-jawed at her practically divine bare form, too stunned to even try and cover his massive erection, while the other girls all looked on in jealous disbelief.

"Oh my, how embarrassing," Tak said flatly, before lightly kicking her bikini in Dib's direction, "You can keep that if you like. I don't really need it now."

She then turned around, giving Dib a perfect view of her perfect ass, before taking a few large steps forward and dropping into the spring. Dib stood frozen for a moment, before bending over to grab the dropped bikini pieces, in a desperate, instinctive bid for clothing. But then Zita "accidentally" hip-bumped him as she slowly wriggled out of her own bikini, sending him stumbling forward to fall into the spring.

"Oops," Zita said with a giggle, as she and the others all quickly stripped and joined Dib and Tak in the water.

XXXXXXX

A short time later, while Dib was living out every straight young man's hormonal dream, Zim was stomping through the jungle. His Grootslang had never come back, and he was searching for it, to see if it had accomplished its mission or not.

"How hard can it be to find a giant snake-elephant monster?" he muttered, "And why didn't it come back on its own? I know I did the ritual right… what's that sound?"

Zim trailed off as he heard some weird squealing noises coming from behind a nearby bush. Tiptoeing over to it, he peeked through, to try and find the source of the noise.

"Yeah baby, work that tail!" Gir yelled happily. It seemed Mimi had interpreted her mistress' orders a bit literally, and was "enjoying herself" the old-fashioned way. Namely, she and Gir were engaging in Tikoloshe mating. Which was an act far too disgusting for words, and which had Zim stumbling away, clutching at his eyes.

"Ah! It burns!" he screamed, stumbling away through another bush… which happened to be sitting at the top of a large hill. Thrown off balance by the sudden shift in terrain, Zim stumbled for a moment, before falling forward in a tumble, rolling down the cliff, hitting every rock and shrub along the way.

Finally, Zim came to the bottom of the hill, and to his surprise, splashed into water. Surfacing after a moment and blinking his eyes clear, he looked around to try and see where he'd ended up.

And was greeted by the sight of a large group of naked girls, floating in a crowd around Dib, who had a near-catatonic-with-joy look on his face. They could all only stare at Zim in shock, before the girls all (except for Tak) reacted the same way — screaming, and desperately covering themselves with their arms.

"AHHH! Pervert!" Zita screamed, grabbing a rock from the nearby shoreline and throwing it at Zim's head.

"Ow!" Zim yelped, as more girls started throwing more rocks at him, "Ouch! Quit it! Dib's here too, throw stuff at him!"

"We invited him, you freak!" one of the girls shouted.

"Yeah, so get out of here!" another added.

Under the barrage of rocks, Zim scrambled onto the shore, before turning around to angrily shake a fist at the girls.

"You will pay for this attack on Zim! All of you will- eh? What are you all looking at," he said, threat trailing off into a confused question, as all the girls were once again staring at him in shock. Except this time, this resulted in them all bursting out laughing. Looking down at himself, Zim saw to his horror why — at some point during his fall, his loincloth had come off, exposing his dick. Which, frankly, was tiny, even smaller than Dib's had been before his recent surge.

"Oh my gods, it's like a spring of grass!" Zita said through her laughs.

"No wonder he's always yelling," another girl guffawed, "He's got to compensate somehow!"

Green face flushing almost black, Zim clasped his hands over his crotch and glared daggers at the group.

"H-how dare you laugh at Zim's mighty manhood!" he screamed, voice cracking, "You should all be begging for me to even consider using it on any of you!"

As the other girls continued to mock and laugh at Zim, Tak sat quietly against the natural basin wall, glaring at him.

" _Of course he shows up now,_ " she thought darkly, " _Ten more minutes and I would have been able to talk everyone into an orgy. Oh well, at least he's humiliated himself in the process, and… hello, what's that?_ "

Using her magical senses, Tak could see that Zim's glamor — already pathetically weak as it was — was fluctuating wildly, his flustered state diverting his attention away from maintaining it. If it could be visualized as a bubble, it looked like one that was stretched to the breaking point, and just needed a sharp nudge.

It was usually forbidden for demons to intentionally expose each other to humans, but since it _was_ Zim, she doubted any of the demon hierarchy would care if they found out. And even if they did, she felt it would honestly be worth it. So, muttering the proper spell under her breath and eyes momentarily flashing totally violet, she sent an invisible bolt of magic right at Zim.

The magic hit Zim's glamor, and the already unstable spell fell apart altogether. Immediately, Zim's true form became visible for all to see, causing the girls' teasing to came to a sudden stop with a massive gasp.

"Now what?" Zim demanded of their latest reaction.

"AH! Monster!" the girls screamed, swim-running as far away from Zim as they could.

"Eh?" Zim asked. Looking down, his eyes widened at the sight of his true face being reflected back at him.

"What? No! How did this happen?!" Zim screamed. In a panic at being exposed, he turned to run, only to slip on the muddy shore and fall on his face. And as he scrambled to get back up, Dib suddenly ran up and cracked him over the skull with a rock. As Zim slumped into unconsciousness and panted heavily in exertion, the girls all looked on in awe, and Tak smirked as she watched things play out.

Yes, altogether, this had all worked out perfectly.

XXXXXXX

A day later, the entire village had gathered in the center square, in front of a raised stage. Tak, Zita, and the rest of his new fan club were at the forefront of the crowd, looking up at where he was standing on the stage, having finally been allowed to don a new loincloth. He was standing next to a little white-haired man with wild eyes wearing a crown of animal bones and feathers. This was Zita's father and the village leader, Chief Man.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are all here today to celebrate a very special member of our village," the chief said, "Dib, son of Membrane, who has saved us all from the horrible evil of an Anhanguera that was hiding amongst us and planning to destroy us all. But thanks to Dib, this monster has been revealed and exorcised from our midsts."

Of course, everyone inwardly noted, "exorcised" in this case meant Zim had been tied to a log, beaten with clubs, and then thrown into a volcano. But referring to that as exorcism was just easier on the tongue.

For his part, Dib was swelling with pride. True, the previous day had been embarrassing and emotionally confusing, but it had all been worth it to lead him to this moment. The entire village cheering his name, his father looking at him in pride, it was all like a dream come true. The only thing missing would have been his sister being there and being nice to him for once, but apparently she was forbidden from leaving the treehouse for the foreseeable future. Something about dung? He hadn't really been paying attention.

"And now, we reward you with the title of Great Hero of the village," the chief continued, "And your pick of as many of the village girls as you want for your wives."

"Wait, what?" Dib asked, blushing and blinking in confusion.

"You like that? It was my daughter's suggestion!" the chief said, while Zita waved happily at him.

" _After I planted the suggestion in her head,_ " Tak mused with a smirk, " _Along with the idea that I deserve to be Head Wife. No reason I can't share a bit of the fun, as long I get first helpings each time._ "

"Er, well, thanks," Dib stuttered, "I'll, um, get right on that."

"Okay then, let's party!" Chief Man said, before jumping off of the stage and rushing off with most of the rest of the crowd to begin celebrating. Meanwhile, Membrane walked up to his son, who looked up at him expectantly.

"So, do you take my beliefs seriously now?" Dib asked.

"Good heavens, no!" Membrane replied, "You're still insane, son, and so is the rest of the tribe for believing you. But, it's made you a hero and put you in a position to get me lots of grandchildren to continue my legacy. So I guess I'm _technically_ proud of you."

"Wait," Dib said slowly, "So, you still think I'm insane… but you'll tolerate it now because it helps you?"

"Huh," Membrane responded after a moment's thought, "When you put it like that, I do sound pretty hypocritical… oh well, what can you do?"

With that, he started walking away whistling, Dib staring after him. Then Tak came up and put an arm around his shoulders, leading him and the other girls toward the festivities, already planning how to "reward" him later.

And on another plane, Anansi laughed happily to himself as he took in the fruits of his labor.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

 **The End**

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

 **A/N: Well, there you go, done and done. Again, this was a little outside my comfort zone, so I don't know how good it was. I hope you all enjoyed it anyway, Cowardly Christian especially.**

 **Read and review!**


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